Monday, November 26, 2012

The Only Reason Why I Would Stop Writing...

I found out in September that I was... 
Yup, that's right, I'm pregnant Beyonce'!
HA!  I wish.  
No, I'm just plain old pregnant!

Immediately after finding out I was pregnant, I started to feel pregnant:  tired, nauseated, bloated, uncomfortable, unfocused, unmotivated, hungry... and writing was pushed to the background while I battled first trimester foolishness.  The past 13 weeks have been incredibly eventful, yet, quite uneventful (lots of laying in the bed and watching HGTV).  I had an emergency pregnancy scare (which I will write about in my next post, stay tuned folks).  I have had to mentally get my mind around the fact that I indeed could have children and that nothing bad was going to happen to me.  And, I also had to figure out how to handle working, school, family and friends while trying to keep my dinner down and take the horse pills they call "prenatal vitamins."  Basically, although I haven't been blogging, I have been trying to find that space in between feeling pregnant and feeling normal so that I can actually want to write again.  I think now, I have reached that point (thank God)!

It's not like I didn't have time to prepare for what was coming.  If you talk to DH about it, it happened like this...

But, in actuality, we had been trying to conceive for almost a year.  I struggle with a condition called Polyscystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and had convinced myself early in my 20's that getting pregnant was not going to happen for me.  When DH and I decided that we wanted to at least try to have a baby, we attempted it the natural way (i.e. no medical intervention) but that didn't work.  It has taken time and some serious drugs to get us here and we are beyond thankful.  But, no matter how much I thought I was ready, I still had no idea how to handle actually being pregnant, mentally and physically.

But, today I am making a commitment to come back to writing, to make time for it just like any other priority in my life, so that when this nine month journey is over and the real adventure starts, I am able to incorporate time for it organically in my new life.  And, although I have been trying to keep this blog more about writing and reading in general, I think you all might be hearing a bit more about my personal life in the future.  I promise not to drift too far from my subtitle of "a writer's blog," but one thing I know about writing and being a writer is that our life experiences always find a way into our work.  I am very curious to see how this part of my life gets played out on pen and paper and I am glad I can share with you all!