News and Links

I'm all over the interwebz and thought I would post a few links to indulge my braggadocios tendencies.

First, thank you to Jacqueline Bach for profiling me on her blog series, The Process Project!  The interview was fun and really made me consider just how I go about putting my thoughts together when I write.  I love this series.  Writers always want to know what other writers do and how they create, hence the popularity of books on craft or The Paris Review's "The Art of Fiction" series.  But it is nice to see a project that embraces beginning writers, like myself, along with more established folks to show how we all do what we can to make our dreams happen.  What a fantastic idea!

So to Jacqueline,


Second, a small personal essay I wrote for the online magazine mater mea went live today.  mater mea "is a website that tells the stories of women at the intersection of motherhood and career. Launched in 2012, the site offers a more realistic depiction of black women in the many spaces they occupy: as mothers, daughters, employees and employers, lovers, and friends." 

It is one of a few essays I've written about my twins' difficult birth and the lessons I've learned trying to navigate my feelings around it.  A larger essay will be in Quaint Magazine's next issue, but I am not certain when that issue will be available.  I am currently working on another short essay related to parenting, covering a topic that also deals with my sons' prematurity. 

For some reason other than the obvious reasons, I feel inspired lately when I think about them, and I am writing about them more.  Maybe because it has been two years since their birth, and now I finally feel able to discuss that event without breaking down in self-shattering guilt and panic.  Maybe it is because I am entering a new phase of parenting, the toddler phase (aka, "my kid is an asshole" phase), and I have more to learn and therefore more to write about.  I have a feeling that I will continue to write about my kids for a long time to come, even when they are bigger than me and have moved out of the house.  But, for right now, I am trying to deal with the fact that others will soon know how I went into early labor, and it freaks me out a little.  This first foray in autobiography has been positive though, so I will lean on that for a little while longer.

So for me and my self-promoting, no humility having ass...
 

And You Are...?

Being new to the blogging world, you could imagine my surprise to find out that Ms. Claus likes to get a little wasted tipsy drinking spiked eggnog and David Spade is still alive. In celebration of these two astronomical discoveries, I decided to participate in a "bloghop" that involves them both.

"And You Are?" is a Blogfest Q & A created by Emily King & Tammy Theriault by way of Ms. Claus. Check out their blogs for more information and to see the list of bloggers trying to get on the Claus' nice list and win presents. And you all know me, I can't resist something for free. Below are my answers. Remember, judge not, lest ye be judged...with my fist!

1. How many tickets have you gotten? I cannot even begin to answer this question. If you only want to count the tickets with possible criminal charges, then only one. If you count only speeding tickets that do not involve speed cameras...maybe six. If you count all speeding tickets, only, including those that illegally inpede on my 4th amendment right to privacy by taking an image of my privately owned vehicle while I privately mind my own damn business, I would say...maybe 50. Now if you want to count parking tickets, tickets from backing into cars and trying to leave, and tickets for DWBing (driving while black) then we are talking about a numerical anomaly that cannot be expressed with the digits available on my keypad. To my defense, I do live in the metro DC area (nuff said).

2. Can you pitch a tent? Hell no! Black people don't go camping.

3. What was your worse vacation ever? Hmm...I got to think about this one. I guess it would be riding on a bus forever from Virginia to Florida to finally get down there and be caught in the middle of hurricane Andrew.

4. What was the last thing you bought over $100? *checking bank account* It appears that the last thing I purchased with real money (i.e. not the imaginary money available on credit cards) that was over $100 were people...to come clean my house.

5. We're handing you the keys to what? A new house that is going to accommodate two growing children, a dog, and two parents who like 5 Guys way too much!

6. What was the last meal you cooked that made even you sick? This should be an easy question since, for the past several months, everything seems to make me sick. However, I haven't cooked anything in three months either, so, the answer to this question is: I don't know. It is quite possible that the last time I ever cooked anything that made me sick was in 2003 when I tried to eat canned asparagus.

7. Fill in the blank: Oh my gosh! Becky look at her butt! It is so big. She looks like ____ what I have always wanted to look like. I got a pancake booty, homegirl needs to give me some of that cake!

8. What was your first car? I don't know where my father got this car from, but it was a white 80's aged Buick of some sort that he called Bessie. I think I had Bessie all of two months before I sideswiped a box truck on my way to school (I do not reccomend lotioning your legs while driving). 

9. Your best friend falls & gets hurt. Do you ask if he/she's okay or laugh first? Depends on which friend it is...but more than likely I would ask if she is okay first.

10. What's the worse song ever? This

This was fun, although now the whole world knows I am a terrible driver. Hope you enjoyed getting to know me. Now, Ms. Claus...hand over that loot!

Fred & George, Luke & Leia, Phil & Lil...Oh Yeah, IT'S TWINS!

Yes, you read that right!  We are having twins!  

 

 Clomid is a hell of a drug!

As I mentioned before, through time, God and, modern medicine we were able to battle PCOS and get pregnant.  One of the drugs we used, clomid, increases the risk of multiples by maturing more than one follicle (i.e baby egg) per cycle.  Several eggs matured, three were fertilized with what DH likes to call his "super sperm" and two little parasites planted themselves in my uterus and ipso facto, boom, pow, bam, we are going to have two bambinos come June (but more than likely May) 2013!

So in celebration of my double whammy, I am counting down my top ten all time favorite twins of...ALL TIME!  Feel free to chime in with your favorites.

10.  White Haired Matrix Twins

Creepy white dreadlocks + The ability to move through solid objects x 2 = Awesome!

9. Patty and Selma, The Simpsons

Chain smoking and insulting...both are women that only her twin (and me) could love.

 

 

8. Julius and Vincent Benedict, Twins

I know this movie was terrible, but Danny DeVito cracks me up.  If I have boys, I hope they come out looking a little bit more alike than these two.
 

7. Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield, Sweet Valley High Series

I loved these books growing up.  Maybe I'll write a series about my twins (fingers crossed for girls!)

 

6. Tia and Tamera, Sister, Sister

Sooo...I have to admit that I LOVE their reality show on E!  I just love them to death and I hope my twins are just as talented and beautiful as these girls.  Don't hate.  I know the show was corny, but you know you watched it too!

5. Dennis and Deandra Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

What can I say...siblings that smoke crack together, stay together (when they aren't trying to destroy one another).
 

4. Phil and Lil Deville, Rugrats

Phil and Lil were always causing trouble.  I am definitely going to find some episodes of this show to play for my kids.
 

3. Phoebe and Ursula Buffay, Friends

I loved the fact that Phoebe had an evil twin.  But, Phoebe was my favorite Friends character anyway, so two of her was even better (no matter how crazy Ursula was).

2. Luke and Leia, Star Wars

Ok, this is totally for DH as Star Wars is one of his all time favorites.  I do like the fact that both of them kick ass in the series, so they deserve a spot on my list.  Although that kiss still grosses me out.

 

1. Fred and George Weasley, Harry Potter Series

What can I say, I am a certified Pot-head!  Fred and George were two of my favorite characters from the book and deserve the number one spot just for terrorizing Prof. Umbridge.
 

That is my list.  I cannot wait to meet our twins.  They are destined to be number one (at least in our eyes).

Who are your all time favorite twins of all time?

The Only Reason Why I Would Stop Writing...

I found out in September that I was... 

Yup, that's right, I'm pregnant Beyonce'!

HA!  I wish.  

No, I'm just plain old pregnant!

Immediately after finding out I was pregnant, I started to feel pregnant:  tired, nauseated, bloated, uncomfortable, unfocused, unmotivated, hungry... and writing was pushed to the background while I battled first trimester foolishness.  The past 13 weeks have been incredibly eventful, yet, quite uneventful (lots of laying in the bed and watching HGTV).  I had an emergency pregnancy scare (which I will write about in my next post, stay tuned folks).  I have had to mentally get my mind around the fact that I indeed could have children and that nothing bad was going to happen to me.  And, I also had to figure out how to handle working, school, family and friends while trying to keep my dinner down and take the horse pills they call "prenatal vitamins."  Basically, although I haven't been blogging, I have been trying to find that space in between feeling pregnant and feeling normal so that I can actually want to write again.  I think now, I have reached that point (thank God)!

It's not like I didn't have time to prepare for what was coming.  If you talk to DH about it, it happened like this...

 

But, in actuality, we had been trying to conceive for almost a year.  I struggle with a condition called Polyscystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and had convinced myself early in my 20's that getting pregnant was not going to happen for me.  When DH and I decided that we wanted to at least try to have a baby, we attempted it the natural way (i.e. no medical intervention) but that didn't work.  It has taken time and some serious drugs to get us here and we are beyond thankful.  But, no matter how much I thought I was ready, I still had no idea how to handle actually being pregnant, mentally and physically.

But, today I am making a commitment to come back to writing, to make time for it just like any other priority in my life, so that when this nine month journey is over and the real adventure starts, I am able to incorporate time for it organically in my new life.  And, although I have been trying to keep this blog more about writing and reading in general, I think you all might be hearing a bit more about my personal life in the future.  I promise not to drift too far from my subtitle of "a writer's blog," but one thing I know about writing and being a writer is that our life experiences always find a way into our work.  I am very curious to see how this part of my life gets played out on pen and paper and I am glad I can share with you all!

Stress, Stress, and More Stress

So many things have been happening in my personal life that have gotten in the way of my writing and blogging.  I am going to be taking a brief hiatus from blogging in order to focus on my health.  My goal is to come back strong in November, refreshed, organized and healthy with several announcements that will explain everything.  In the meantime,

Tick Tock...Finding Time for Everything

To say that I am "busy" is a massive understatement.  Below is a typical Thursday for me:

• 4:45-5:45am:   wake and let dog out (or rather open the door, watch the dog stand on the porch looking for something to bark at, beg the dog to "go pee pee" and then trick her back into the house with a piece of banana)
• 5:45-6:45am:   bootcamp workout in the dark with twelve other crazy people
• 6:45am-7:45am:   contemplate calling out of work...when I realize I don't have any more leave, peel myself off the edge of the bed, shower, get dressed, go to work.
• 7:45am-4 or 5ish pm:    work...
• 5-6pm:   be entertained by all the crazies on the metro as I travel to class
• 6:15-8:45pm:   class
• 8:45-9:30pm:   more entertainment on the metro, but less amused because I want to be home already...
• 10pm:   maybe eat something or down a bottle of wine...and then PASS The EFF OUT!

Me when I get home...(if you can't tell by now, I LOVE gifs)

Now...in the middle of that full day do you see any time allotted for "writing?"  I don't.  Maybe if I put my nose to the screen, squinted my eyes, or got out some binoculars I can find it somewhere in between the lines.  *Looking...looking...*  Sigh, it ain't there. 

I will admit, not every day of the week is like this.  Thursdays suck a major one.  Some evenings I am at home, so I try to write then or on the weekends.  Although, I can't say I write something or work on my WiP everyday, which I read somewhere is what successful authors do.   Apparently, I'm doomed as a writer.  In fact, Steven King, who people seem to poo poo, but makes bank nonetheless, says in his book On Writing, that a writer should produce at least 1000 words a day on his/her project and that he writes every single day, even holidays.  Yeah, that's pretty much impossible for me and I don't even have kids to blame it on.

So, what do I do?  Well, I write in between work projects, on my lunch break, doodle plot outlines during meetings, and I don't watch TV anymore.  I lock myself in my office and try not to think about what's happening on Louie and write as much as I can before I fall asleep in my chair.  If I'm in the bathroom or on the train, I am reading or editing something.  Basically, I try to use any extra minute I have to write.  Right now, I'm 60,000 words in (since July)!

So how do you guys do it?  How do you find the time to do what it is that you enjoy, to work on projects, to finish that novel or short story, to eat, to rest?  How do you make it happen?

Just My-Shelf

Ever since I was a little kid I loved to read.  I remember coming home from school, taking off my pants (because I hate pants, clingy little buggers), lying around in my underwear reading or watching Reading Rainbow.  I ended up marrying a man who owned more books and CDs than clothes and so our old apartment was a giant bookshelf with two couches and a TV.

Inspired by this post at real actual hilary by way of the YA Highway, I thought I would share with you all my book shelveseseses...since there are six of them in my house (full disclosure, one of those shelves is dedicated to my husband's extensive CD collection/Wii game storage/DVDs/junk...so I will spare you the photos of all of that for fear that you will indeed judge us and never want to visit...and trust me...a visit to Stroleman Manor is awesome, we have a Tempurpedic guest bed and I can make a mean monkey bread!)

We bought our house in 2010 and one of the most important things on our "must have" list was a room for all our books.  After we got in the house, we set up our library/office and then...there were still books left over...so we have four rooms in our home with at least one book shelf in it.

These are our office shelves

And these are the shelves in both our guestrooms (unedited, crap and all) 

Gosh, with it all together like this, I feel really nerdy!  If DH and I ever end up missing, look for us underneath one of these shelves.  We have so many books, we even used them as table centerpieces at our wedding.

NERDS!