Showing posts with label Introductions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Introductions. Show all posts

Monday, December 3, 2012

And You Are...?

Being new to the blogging world, you could imagine my surprise to find out that Ms. Claus likes to get a little wasted tipsy drinking spiked eggnog and David Spade is still alive. In celebration of these two astronomical discoveries, I decided to participate in a "bloghop" that involves them both.

"And You Are?" is a Blogfest Q & A created by
Emily King & Tammy Theriault by way of Ms. Claus. Check out their blogs for more information and to see the list of bloggers trying to get on the Claus' nice list and win presents. And you all know me, I can't resist something for free. Below are my answers. Remember, judge not, lest ye be judged...with my fist!

1. How many tickets have you gotten? I cannot even begin to answer this question. If you only want to count the tickets with possible criminal charges, then only one. If you count only speeding tickets that do not involve speed cameras...maybe six. If you count all speeding tickets, only, including those that illegally inpede on my 4th amendment right to privacy by taking an image of my privately owned vehicle while I privately mind my own damn business, I would say...maybe 50. Now if you want to count parking tickets, tickets from backing into cars and trying to leave, and tickets for DWBing (driving while black) then we are talking about a numerical anomaly that cannot be expressed with the digits available on my keypad. To my defense, I do live in the metro DC area (nuff said).

2. Can you pitch a tent? Hell no! Black people don't go camping.

3. What was your worse vacation ever? Hmm...I got to think about this one. I guess it would be riding on a bus forever from Virginia to Florida to finally get down there and be caught in the middle of hurricane Andrew.

4. What was the last thing you bought over $100? *checking bank account* It appears that the last thing I purchased with real money (i.e. not the imaginary money available on credit cards) that was over $100 were people...to come clean my house.


5. We're handing you the keys to what? A new house that is going to accommodate two growing children, a dog, and two parents who like 5 Guys way too much!

6. What was the last meal you cooked that made even you sick? This should be an easy question since, for the past several months, everything seems to make me sick. However, I haven't cooked anything in three months either, so, the answer to this question is: I don't know. It is quite possible that the last time I ever cooked anything that made me sick was in 2003 when I tried to eat canned asparagus.

7. Fill in the blank: Oh my gosh! Becky look at her butt! It is so big. She looks like ____ what I have always wanted to look like. I got a pancake booty, homegirl needs to give me some of that cake!

8. What was your first car? I don't know where my father got this car from, but it was a white 80's aged Buick of some sort that he called Bessie. I think I had Bessie all of two months before I sideswiped a box truck on my way to school (I do not reccomend lotioning your legs while driving). 


9. Your best friend falls & gets hurt. Do you ask if he/she's okay or laugh first? Depends on which friend it is...but more than likely I would ask if she is okay first.

10. What's the worse song ever? This


This was fun, although now the whole world knows I am a terrible driver. Hope you enjoyed getting to know me. Now, Ms. Claus...hand over that loot!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Hello Me...It's Me Again!

I've started and restarted this first post like eighteen million times.  It's hard because being the type of person I am, I find it difficult to write about myself.  Well, not hard to write about myself, but to believe that anyone would want to hear me ramble about who I am.  So, for the sake of getting through this first post, I figured I would just "introduce me" to "me" and maybe you all (the imaginary readers of my random little blog) would get to know a little bit about me in the process.  So here it goes.

Tyrese...Please meet Tyrese...

Well, nice to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you!

Really, cause that bitch Tyrese never told me anything about you...

I know, she is such a bitch...

Well, tell me, what did she say about me?  I know how she likes to talk about people behind their backs.

She said you were a hot mess...I mean, that you were nice and ambitious and an overall sweet person.

A hot mess, huh?

Well, she said that you wasted four years going to law school because you thought it was a good career path, but that when you didnt get a job, you gave up.  Is that true?

Yes...but its a bad market out there!

Oh, I see.

What else did she say?

She said nothing else...dont worry about what she said.  Whats going on now?  How you doing right now?

[narrowed, skeptical eyes] I'm writing a book!

Really?...She mentioned that.

Mmm...Hmm...elaborate please...

Well she said that you started writing young adult novels.  You've been obsessed with it really.  Her words, not mine!

Ah!  Well, I have.  It's been one of the few things in my life recently, other than Luna Poo and Dear Husband that have made me pretty darn happy these days.  You want to hear about it?

NO!  No...I mean...no...I want to wait...yeah...let me wait till it gets published and then I will read it.  I will read it!

Okay...

Well, it was nice meeting you, Tyrese.

You too, Tyrese.

Take care and tell that other bitch Tyrese that I'm looking for her!  Talking shit!

Now that THAT' is out of the way I can go on to say that this blog will be about all things that interest me right now.  Mainly writing and the journey of finishing my first novel and (prayerfully) getting it published.

And  AWAY WE GO!