Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Road Trip Wednesday: What Fable or Fairytale Would You Retell?

Road Trip Wednesday is a ‘Blog Carnival,’ where YA Highway's contributors post a weekly writing- or reading-related question that begs to be answered. In the comments, you can hop from destination to destination and get everybody's unique take on the topic.
This Week's Topic is: In honor of this month's Bookmobile book, Marissa Meyer's CINDER, name a fable or story you'd like to see a retelling of. If you're feeling creative, come up with a premise of your own!

This question is a difficult one for me.  See, I am what most people would describe as a "hater."  I tend to hate many things that most people love.  And the first thing that I think of when I think "fairy tale" is Disney.  I hate Disney.  With a passion.  Like, if I could, I would find a way to gather up every freaking princess piece of overpriced sexist bullshit and burn it, then further destroy the smoking pile with a drone attack, and finish it off by blowing Mickey's head off with a sawed off shottie.

Ok, that was way too violent.

But, in any event, I find fairy tales to be sexist and racist garbage most of the time.  I think what would be interesting is to switch the roles and have the man be the helpless, hapless, poor, wretched, beautiful thing that has to be saved for once.  How about this retelling of Cinderella...or rather...a re-telling of Cinder-fella.

When his mother dies, Dai-Shawn soon realizes that love and obligation were not why his step-father adopted him.  Richard's only connection to Dai-Shawn's trust fund, legal parenthood of Dai-Shawn and now he and his two boys are set for life.

But, what to do with Dai-Shawn?  Might as well make him useful.  Richard puts Dai-Shawn to work with a backhand, a belt, and a fist as motivation.  Dai-Shawn dreams of the day he turns 18 when the trust is his and he can leave Richard and his dumb-ass stepbrothers. 

Dai-Shawn's only escape is inside Keisha Bryant's smile.  But, the mayor's daughter and Maple Ridge High's unofficial, yet very official princess would never be seen with a hand-me-down wearing, no shape-up having, broke Cinder-fella like Dai-Shawn.  But, Keisha is the only girl in school who actually smiles when she walks by and Dai-Shawn can't help but hope for...a miracle.

With the help of his father's old friend, a pimp named Roscoe, and his harem of street-walkers with a hearts of gold, Dai-Shawn cleans himself up enough to get into Keisha's Sweet Sixteen masqurade party.  But when his stepbrothers recognize him, he has to leave all too soon and right in the middle of dancing with Keisha and her falling crazy in love with him.  As he leaves, his father's pocket watch falls from inside of his coat.  Keisha finds the watch broken on the ground in the wake of Dai-Shawn's escape.  On the back plate, an inscription that breaks her heart.  She has to find this guy!

Keisha searches all over Maple Ridge High, but no one has lost a watch, let alone an old man pocket watch.  When Dai-Shawn's stepbrothers find out, they tell Richard, who threatens Dai-Shawn into telling them more about the watch.  Richard sees an oppurtunity for his son to date and one day marry the mayor's daughter.  Dai-Shawn's step-brother tells Keisha's the watch is his, he describes it so accurately, she cannot refute his claim and they become a couple.

But she is drawn to her boyfriend's dirty step-brother and while hanging out at their house, Keisha overhears Dai-Shawn say the phrase on the back of the watch.  She confronts him about it.  He confesses everything, the watch, the pimps, the hookers, even the abuse from Richard and his embezzlement of his trust funds.  Keisha tells her father, who informs the county prosecutor and Richard is put in jail for his crimes.  Dai-Shawn and Keisha live happily ever after.  Aww...

Not a total re-imagination, but I think its pretty good for a girl who can't stand fairy tales (except Little Red Riding Hood, cause they never made a Disney Princess out of her).

What fairy tale would you like to see re-told?